Tag: y

  • fun fact: the bride stands to the left of the groom in heterosexual marriages for multiple reasons
  • one of which is right-handed empowerment but for the right reason which leads into the second and much better reason
  • the second reason is much cooler so basically it goes like this: the groom sometimes would hold a sword during the wedding
  • and sometimes people would try to steal his fly girl
  • so he had to engage them in mortal combat in order to keep his woman by his side
  • whilst the wedding was still going on
  • so here we are in the middle of the wedding
  • some rando dude is like “yo i wanna get with this chick she hot af”
  • the groom is At the Ready like “no the fuck you ain’t”
  • the rando dude decides “yes i should fucking FIGHT this ARMED MAN for his WOMAN that he is getting LAWFULLY MARRIED TO this seems like a GOOD IDEA”
  • and suddenly BEGONE THOT THIS IS MY WIFE
  • fucking dead man on the floor while they’re exchanging ‘i do’s
  • sometimes multiple dudes would be like “yo that guy fucking died but who’s to say that i won’t be the one that lives”
  • literal setup for 4 funerals and a wedding
  • red wedding but irl
  • i assume the opposite positioning happened for left-handed grooms? i’m not entirely sure
  • but yeah
  • wedding? more like
    • wow
    • et’s
    • d-d-d-d-d–d-d-d-d-d-duel
    • dtime
    • i guess
    • now
    • gosh darnit i guess i’ve been stabbed you have bested me now marry the shit out of this woman
  • and now i really want to carry a sword at my wedding so i can fight THOTS to the DEATH and straight up MURDER to prove my LOVE to my SPOUSE