bad puns to tell my crush

bombing:

  • are you a parking ticket? the future terrifies me
  • when was the last time you took your vitamins?
  • 44
  • i’m a thousand years old 
  • we could make it if we really tried 
  • can we play some drake? i’m going to play some drake 
  • i killed my parents and they deserved it
  • enough to break the ice in tennessee 
  • i want to die
  • blue crab larvae are incredibly vulnerable to jellyfish
  • i think about you more than i’d ever admit 
  • i threw up on the way here