if you don’t see asexuality/aromanticism as struggles in and of their own right, get the fuck off of my blog.
examples of struggles within the community:
- rape culture
- peer pressure
- media portraying romance and sexual relationships as things that heal people
- media portraying romance and sexual relationships as the end-all be-all of everything
- media portraying romance and sexual relationships as having “changed someone forever”
- glorifying sexualization of women in advertising and media
- needless romantic subplots in media that the story could do without
- next to no representation (the only characters i’ve seen or heard in media that are confirmed as asexual (and only that – asexual. not aromantic) are bojack horseman, jughead jones, and raphael santiago, and even then, raphael is currently in a relationship with arguably the most sexually driven character on the show)
- people claiming that sexual and romantic relationships are necessary for human beings
- people claiming that sexual adversity is unnatural and wrong
- forced relationships on aromantic people because “i’m the one that can change them”
- domestic abuse against aromantic people because “they clearly don’t love me”, “they’re just using me”, “they don’t give a fuck about me”
- calling nonbinary aces/aros “cishet” because they appear a certain way that aligns with their sex, and they feel attraction towards people that appear a certain way that aligns with the opposite sex
- sexual abuse and rape because “they just need someone to show them the right way”, “i can turn them on”
- those that are sex-neutral or sex-positive being invalidated because “if they were asexual, why did they want to fuck me?”, “why did you come last night during sex if you can’t get turned on?”
- sex-repulsed asexuals redefining their identity and being told that they can’t suddenly realize that they have an attraction
- romance-positive and romance-neutral aromantics being told that they can’t have queerplatonic relationships because it’s “basically dating”
- constant oversexualization of teenagers in media, portraying many of them as sex-driven, horny maniacs that want to screw anything or anyone they can
- sex-ed classes not even mentioning the idea that someone wouldn’t want to have sex once in their lives
- romance-repulsed aromantics being told that they’re “rude”, “bitchy”, and “snobby” because they don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship
- aromantic/asexual people being told they’re snooty because the person calling them snooty is angry that they don’t want to bang/become partners with them
- being told that they “have too high standards”
- being told they’re going to die old and alone because they won’t ever find someone
- many telling them that procreation is the meaning of life, and that it’s programmed into everyone to want to have sex and make children
- people not even knowing about the community
- former abuse/trauma survivors turning sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed because of their former trauma/abuse and getting invalidated because of it
- a-spec people getting cat-called on the streets because they happen to be wearing an outfit that people would say is “revealing”
- a-spec people getting abused/raped/assaulted and their abusers saying that they were “asking for it”
notice how some of the above things can relate to the LGBTQIA+ community
don’t invalidate us if you don’t understand the struggles we go through.