depressinghomosexual:

Professor, the first day of classes: lets go around the room and everyone will tell us a little bit about themselves

Me:

therapist: so, what have you been up to since our last session?

me:

Source: yuri-plisetskeet-skeet

targuzzler:

me: 🙂

my wife: hey honey 🙂 whatcha thinkin about?

me: *keeps smiling* oh, you know…

my brain:

PIZZA, PASTA, PUT IT IN A BOX. DELIVER IT, TO MY HOUSE AND PUT IT ON MY COCK MY COCK MY COCK MY COCK MY COCK MY COCK MY COOOOCK! CHEESEY ON MY PEENY AND SOME SAUCE-A ON MY BALLS! *BEAT*