Aries:We don’t need guns. I have a lighter, okay, we get some hairspray, make some flame throwers. Let’s fry these bitches.
Taurus:So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.
Gemini: I have zero interest in food. If it were feasible, my diet would consist entirely of flavorless beige smoothies containing all the nutrients required by the human animal.
Cancer:The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I’m incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.
Leo: I’ve had no official dance training, and yet here I stand, a miracle of movement
Virgo:I got aroused last night watching a nature documentary on bees. I was fine until they went inside the hive
Libra:Sarge, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said.
Scorpio: I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools
Sagittarius:Actually, someone reported that they couldn’t find your head. But we found it; it was up your butt. You’re a fireman, you should know how to treat that burn.
Capricorn: Hey Deetmore. If you’re gonna bag evidence like a 5 year-old, you should have the proper tools. It’s a ‘my first police kit.’ The walkie-talkie blows bubbles. I hope you can handle it.
Aquarius:Sarge, I’m every kind of friend. I’m Phoebe, I’m Chandler, I’m Rachel, I’m – who’s the dinosaur guy?
Pisces: ‘Drop house’, a perfect name for a port-a-potty. As soon as we get out of here, I am taking that to Shark Tank.