Tag: anonymous

I’m questioning whether or not I’m aro but with all the discourse about the aro/ace community I feel I could never come out about it. I also feel that people glorify aces and don’t give a damn about aros. I like flirting but not relationships

There are so many different identities within the community that I’m sure you may be able to identify with. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being aromantic, and I think you should embrace it, if you do find an identity on the aro-spectrum that you can identify with.

I also think that aros get the short end of the stick. Maybe it’s because there are more people who are openly asexual? I don’t understand it myself, but I see them both as equally valid identities that should both be given their proper respect.

PSA to everybody: Regardless of whether you identify within the aro-spectrum, the ace-spectrum, or both, you matter.

Same discourse anon as before, Biromantic heterosexuals, homoromantic heterosexuals, homosexual panromantics ect. don’t exist. The split attraction model can only be used for a-spec people. A “bisexual homoromantic” woman is probably just a lesbian experiencing compulsory heterosexuality. The a-spec community saying you can have two sexualities under the split attraction model really helps enforce internalised homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. And it’s really bad for lgbp kids

I understand that you may not think they exist, but they do. Romantic and sexual orientations are two separate entities. There’s a reason we explain sexuality with romantic and sexual terms. There are people that experience sexual attraction (i.e. thinking someone is “sexy” or “hot”) to multiple genders, but only experience romantic attraction (i.e. thinking someone is “cute” or “pretty”) to one gender, and vice versa. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. Split attraction is real and valid.

There is no such thing as “compulsory heterosexuality”. People should never feel pressured to FORCE themselves to like someone of the opposite gender. While heterosexuality is definitely enforced by society, it’s not “mandatory”. People who are LGBT+ usually don’t FORCE themselves to find other genders attractive. Biromantic homosexuals are people who find men “cute”, but don’t experience sexual attraction to them, and they’re just as valid as any other member of the LGBT+ community.

There are people that don’t even know about the A-Spec community that identify with the split attraction model. There’s nothing wrong with feeling the way that you feel. It should simply be a human instinct.

I understand how you feel, and you make valid points, but I personally don’t see it that way myself. Just look around. There are countless people in the LGBT+ community that have split attraction. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it! It’s great, and should be celebrated.

I’m glad that you’ve sent me another message, because it’s really interesting to me to see the points that people are making, and have non-aggressive chats with others about the A-Spec community.

I just read that it’s your birthday and I don’t want to ruin that (happy birthday by the way!) but I read your post about how cis heteroromantic aces are LGBT but the thing is, they’re not. While they do face social issues (and that sucks), it’s often misdirected misogyny or occasionally misdirected homophobia. While many aces/aros are LGBT (and we love and support them) people aren’t LGBT just for being ace. You’ve got to be sga/mga and/or not cis to be LGBT.

thanks for the birthday wishes!

I understand that you may feel this way, but I personally see any person who identifies with something non-heteroromantic, non-heterosexual, and/or non-cisgender to be a welcome part of the community. For example, there are cisgender biromantic heterosexuals that are welcomed in the community. There are transgender heteroromantic heterosexuals that are welcomed in the community. They’re just as important a part of the community as anybody else. And as an asexual person myself, it really makes me sad that people don’t see cisgender heteroromantic asexuals or cisgender aromantic heterosexuals as a part of the community. Their identities are valid (and I appreciate you for welcoming them into the community, since it appears a lot of LGBT+ members of the community are against aros/aces being a part of the community) and I personally believe that the LGBT+ community should be willing to work with them.

You haven’t ruined my birthday, so please don’t worry! It’s okay! I’m actually glad you sent a message! 🙂