ultward:

one of my favorite parts of breaking dawn is when jacob loses it after bella tells him she and edward are gonna fuck while she’s still human because jacob is basically screaming “NO!! HE’S GOING TO DICK YOU TO DEATH!!! THAT’S FUCKED UP!!! BELLA HIS PENIS IS TOO STRONG IT’S GOING TO KILL YOU!!! ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO DIE FOR SOME FUCKING DICK???? OH MY GOD”

builttobulk:

sparkofstorm:

nicolegendary:

okay i’ve just had such a perfect idea for the layout of a wedding ceremony that i drew a diagram and will now describe it

so a traditional set up for a ceremony would look like this, with the audience lined up in front of the couple, and divided in the middle to make a path for the bride to come down and be given away by her father to the groom

image

instead, i propose (ohhh puns) a set up more like this:

image

where the audience is on either side (which halves the distance that the farthest person is from the action) and at the same time you can have each half of the couple come down aisles on opposite sides and both be given away by their parents to each other (which takes away all the gross sexist and hetero-normative crap)

just… isn’t that way better???

That and it looks like the way an audience sits for a concert or a game
“YEAH GO TEAM KISS THAT BRIDE WOOO”
Or it looks like they’re meeting in the middle for a throwdown
Both are good

TWO PEOPLE ENTER.

ONE COUPLE LEAVES.

WELCOME TO MATRIMONY.

I live in Wisconsin and lactose intolerance is forgiven, but not drinking is a big no no. I always see Drink Wisconsibly shirts and we have the lackest drunk driving laws in the US. I think, though, the worst thing you can be is from Illinois.

shitty-check-please-aus:

shortie291:

shitty-check-please-aus:

Wisconsin-Indiana solidarity is hating Illinois

I’m feeling personally attacked right now.

look, I’m desperately trying to get a job in Illinois right now, but we all know it’s the sacred right of everyone in the midwest to complain about Illinois, especially Chicago