truth-shitposting:

lalaithion:

argumate:

argumate:

theinflammablemammal:

argumate:

“my bonnie lies over the ocean, my bonnie lies over the sea,”

are we talking about the same body of water here, which is weird, or different bodies of water, which is even weirder

this makes more sense if you assume both are the same body of water but the time between the statements is about 50 million years

you’re right, that’s significantly less weird

toasthaste said: maybe there’s more than one bonnie

blocked

A hypothesized geography.

i bless the bonnie over africa

squeeful:

bunjywunjy:

duckbunny:

morkaischosen:

probablybadrpgideas:

Your players are faced with an ancient Sumerian curse! However, since the early ancient Sumerian language was only used for recording tax debts, it turns out to actually be an ancient Sumerian bill.

and therefore they need to get hold of some ancient Sumerian coinage and bring it to the ruins of the ancient Sumerian tax office, because the Sumerians had a pleasingly direct way of preventing tax evasion, namely horrifying curses.

well I don’t have any coin but I have these copper ingots, lovely copper ingots, from a very reputable merchant, never heard a word said against him, very thorough with his paperwork, anyway they’re guaranteed pure copper and proper weight, so can I pay my tax with those?

I just want everyone to take a step back for a second and really think about how we’re using the most powerful knowledge tool in history to make jokes about a specific dude who lived almost 4000 years ago.

it’s fuckin wonderful, is what it is.

Ea-nasir has been dead for 4700 fraudy fraudy years.

astropathos:

how the signs die

aries: idk but probably something obviously stupid

taurus: is too much of a chad and dies of pussy overdose

gemini: the drama they start for fun goes too far

cancer: idk but you know damn well they’ll be crying while it happens

leo: killed by someone for being annoying in public

virgo: too much gaming not enough food or sleep

libra: complex social ties get knocked out of balance and a war breaks out

scorpio: doesn’t trust doctors enough to call 911 so they just let themselves die in an emergency

sagittarius: gets into some fuckshit and gets themselves killed

capricorn: is too much of an incel and dies of pussy deficiency

aquarius: immortal

pisces: somehow just straight up forgets how to breathe

mostmodernist:

powerarmor:

about a year ago i read that capybaras can briefly run as fast as horses and no revelation since has shaken me as much. i can’t get rid of the thought of the world’s largest rodent barreling at you at the speed of a horse. it’s so sinister

in all seriousness I read this and thought “good thing capybaras aren’t real” before realizing that I was, in fact, thinking of chupacabras